spring forward

so ho-hum here comes the spring.....they say that at this time of year just like the birds and the bees, humans come out to play. The sun shines more, poeple are out and about more, leaving there house hold dungeons where most of hibernated thru the winter months...

Not me.....

I never was one to understand all the lovy dovey stuff at spring time, and as far as i can remember now, i wasnt ever looking for a bf for sooo many reasons...but this spring..this year..2008 is different some how, i dont kno why and i cant explain it, but i think the spring love thing is gettin to me. I never wanted a BF right now for that fact that i KNOW im not staying here, and i have HUGE plans, and as far as im concered, you get a bf and in a few years all your plans change cause u have this relationship...no offence guys, but what makes u so special that have to change my entire life path to be loved...ok maybe that sounds a little harsh, im not sure, but i want a guy who will move with me not agaisnt me. The other problem is people change there life paths constantly until they set it in stone, this i kno cause i have changed mine about 30 times. Im 100% certain of what I want to do now, i guess thats why im waiting for love, wait until im setteled down more.....but again...this feeling....this year,i cant help shaking the feeling that ive been pushin love off for so long now, and it kinda let me....but now...im not so certain im can fight it anymore, better yet i dont think im allowed to. maybe some higher power has been telling me to push off love this long, because i kno and it knows that my heart is very strong, and i was goig to be one of the lucky ones to have my soulmate....what a fairy tale huh, but we all have to beleive in somthin...and if your gonna dream, might as well dream big... so I kno some guys that like me...but i guess there not the one..like i can feel the wind forcing itself, just like the chinooks force itself upon the frozen snow, it melts it, just like this force is a chinook wind on my frozen ice incrusted heart...why do i suddenly now seek love, tho not of that which is infront of me, but that of wich i kno is on its way.....maybe....maybe it was ....him......maybe it was he who melted it, opened up somthing that only he ended up having the key to. As fate allowes it maybe he is the only one to pass thru my soul, where no one else could....or was allowed....when he looked at me..i saw somthin, i felt somthin not familiar....maybe this is where its started, where the small chinook breeze began. oh how complicated our hearts are...such a curse a organ made to keep us alive, but an emotion to either bond us or destroy our being...im gonne welcome spring this year, like i do any other year...except this year...maybe i can except love,.....maybe i can make a SMALL difference in my life, to allow it, i think im suppose to now, someone or somthing is saying its time....i hope im not being taken up to high.....for the higher you are, the longer and harder you fall....