Thursday, April 22, 2010

WITH ANGEL WINGS I WILL SOAR ONCE MORE...







"To Believe in ones on strength is enough power to move the world..."

"Im not perfect, but ill keep trying, cause thats what I said I would do from the start..."




I Decided that today I was going to take it on!


I decided that today I was going to win the stupid battle!


Today I decided the mirror and its, no- MY reflection was no longer going to win!


Everytime I look in the mirror, I hate what I see and once I start hateing what I see, I start hearing what I hate even more.....the reflection...she points and me, hackles and menacing laugh and talks to me...


"WOW! look at you!!! Hey now, you stare any longer at me and the mirror might crack! *snicker*! HAHAHA have you EVER put in the pounds! wow you're NEVER gonna get rid of all THAT! You must really like seeing me in the mirror cause EVERYTIME you come by I havn't changed a single bit! Ha ha! With your procrastination and pro lazyness, I get a great setup here! Hell I'll never be leaving this mirror thanks to you and your BORING idle thinking but NO action plans. So I get to be here and get bigger along with my ego, HA! soon I'll get to take over this entire mirror, hell you might have to put another mirror beside me if you keep going like this. That is of course if you can even live another few years. I mean c'mon I may be your reflection but even I can hear our heart, and frankly my friend it ain't sounding to good. But thats ok right? cause for the time you got left I get to enjoy it and live it up ,and you....well you can sit there in your own self pity, making your excuses, hating what you see but never moving forward, never makin a change. Congradulations on being your own undoing!"


My reflection has a smile that is not an inviting one, its a smile that tells me how evil she really is. I can hear every word my reflection has said to me, they echo in my head. I can hear the intolerable laughter that she hackles at my own dimise. she's happy to look that way.....even if it means a shorter life?


A shorter life....that is what my reflection is saying isn't it? With the way it is, my life, my existance, my breath will sieze to exist if I don't take control.


Evil reflection! Once upon a time you were never there, once upon a time I loved looking at the reflection of me. The way I use to look,.....

where did YOU come from?

why are YOU here now?

where did I go wrong and pick YOU up?


I hate you.....no, I hate ME for what I've let myself become. There is no other to blame but myself. Even in all her evil glory the reflection in the mirror is stating its true colors...my true colors, It IS me....


BUT.....this is only true for this last second, this last moment, cause right now, I'm making a stand! I take a deep breath and look at my reflection in the eyes and say.....


"NO!!.......I will no longer listen to you, I will no longer be a procrastinator and I will no longer make excuses. I'm not going to let you take me down ANYMORE. Im NOT gonna sell myself short, or my life span. YOU'RE wrong, you're NOT me, you never were, you're just a temporary image , something I can finally accept as is and then LET GO!


I'm gonna go back to the image I once was and even make it better. I'll get the reflection back that smiles happily at me and is proud of who I am and what I've done. I will no longer allow you to attack me with your negative thinking. I have people who depend on me and people who look towards everyday. People who love me and care for me and I for them. I can't let how you think effect me and make me abondon them. I have far to much in my life that I want to accomplish to let you stand in my way and telling me I'm going to die is NOT an option! DO NOT under estimate me, I may be my worst enemy but I am also my own salvation! You are at the front lines of a war, and you now have run out of ammo, I am the real me and will now turn this back and forth battle in my favor and I WILL WIN it. I have had enough of you and I no longer want to see you, you will become a thing of the past and I will better my future, I am going to surpass you and everything you are and say, with my own strength! I WILL NOT BE YOU ANY LONGER!"




After yelling my soul out to the mirror she said nothing in return, I stared at her for a mere 30 seconds, not a word just the sounds of my breathing, my heart beating...STILL beating, im still alive and I WILL prove what I can do! My reflection now smiles at me, the smile I use to see her have and as tears rolls down her face she says "finally"... And so, I smiled with my reflection and wiped away our tears.

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